Excuse me while I clean my brains off the walls....

A young friend who consistently and erroneously uses "then" instead of "than" in her Facebook posts just used "than" when it should have been "then".

My head exploded a little bit.

"Than" indicates an unequal comparison: Jan is skinnier than Carol.

"Then" indicates order in time or place: I am going to work, then to the grocery store. To get to my place, you pass the QuikTrip, then the Post Office.

These aren't even homonyms, like the "you're" and "your" confusion. Or "their" and "there". Honestly people, for the sake of the grammarians in your lives, learn the differences.

A century of words

Happy 100th birthday to the American-style crossword puzzle!

The first appearance in print of a "word-cross" was about December 21, 1913. There is a picture of it in the linked article. While the numbering system is a bit confusing, it gets the job done.

The publisher of the first compilation of crosswords was so embarrassed by the low-brow nature of the puzzle they refused to put their name on the book. To their surprise (and their pleasure, I'm sure) the book was an instant hit. The craze for puzzles even drove up the sale of dictionaries.

While my love of the slightly warped, British-style crosswords is well documented, I do fool around with the American version as well. A generic crossword app resides on both phone and Kindle, while the Kindle also holds both easy and medium New York Times puzzles. There's a book of easy, brain-clearing puzzles next to the recliner at home as well.

With on-line dictionaries and the ability to look words up directly in many reading applications, our useful vocabularies should be increasing. Puzzles are another way to broaden the pool of words at our disposal.

Amazon has a broad selection of crossword books. Their app store for Kindle has a plethora of electronic versions, including the Crossword by Teazel and NYT versions I have on my devices.

When you have a minute, give a puzzle a try. You just may learn something.

Inigo Montoya would be proud

I'm howling in my office. I so dearly want to send this piece to those of my colleagues who routinely use one (or more) of these expressions.

There are a few that were left out (most likely for brevity's sake; there are hundreds of examples of this kind of folly), among which is one of my favorites: mute point.

If it's a mute point, why do you feel the need to state it?

Add your examples in the comments. Feel free to pass along the link.

After all, we have to nip this kind of behavior in the butt.

Just the facts (or your mangled interpretation thereof), ma'am

Good news: The university theater department is putting on The Quiltmaker's Gift in January. It's a wonderful story about the joy of giving, and even the musical hater (me) is planning to attend.

Bad news: The theater department apparently doesn't know the difference between the musical's "book" and the book upon which the musical is based. The web page describing the performance states "Based on the book by XXX YYY", where XXX YYY is the name of the person who wrote the "book" - the narrative framework for the musical. Someone else entirely wrote the book on which that book is based.

The dilemma: How does a lowly administrator with only a B.A. and a C.P.A. certificate tactfully correct the Theater Department (which, naturally, is part of the College of Communication)? Does no one practice the fine art of fact checking and proof reading anymore?

Grammar gaffes

I'm not sure I've mentioned it here, but I'm part of the tech team at church. Once a month (or more often - I tend to volunteer for the special services) I'm the designated visual media mogul.

At this church, the video/slide person not only runs the presentation software during the service, but comes in early and puts together that presentation - during the hour before the first service begins. It can be a bit hair raising, especially if the songs on the playlist are not currently in the software library (the computer used to run the presentations was stolen during a break-in the week before I started training - we had to rebuild the library from scratch). Add to that a pastor who sometimes gives an incorrect reference for a verse he is reading during his sermon (which also need to be added to the presentation), and, well, it's enough to make a type A person a bit crazy.

I live in great fear of misspelling something, or substituting a valid, but completely inappropriate word for another. So you can see why I find this article (and especially the comments - be sure to read them) both hilarious and appalling.

You might want to pray for me the third Sunday of every month.

Tongue twisting English test

LOVE this. The best thing to do is to read this out loud, as quickly as you can without making stupid mistakes. It does make you think a bit - I'm glad I'm a native English speaker, as trying to learn all this would turn the most patient person into a raving lunatic!

Homonyms

Homonym: a word pronounced the same as another but differing in meaning, whether spelled the same way or not, as heir and air

Their/there, its/it's, bare/bear...and on and on.

People confuse homonyms frequently, but the one that is guaranteed to make my ears or eyes bleed (depending on whether I hear (hear/here) it or see it in print) isn't even a homonym, even though people sometimes pronounce it as if it is.

Then. Than.

Then is indicative of time order. "We went to the swimming pool, then to get some ice cream."

Than is indicative of an unequal comparison, where one alternative is generally presented as preferable to another. "I'd rather have ice cream than go swimming." "Ice cream is better than cake for dessert."

A dear, sweet young lady friend uses "then" rather than (see, I'm using it correctly) "than" in her status and notes every.single.time. Every time. My poor eyes cross when I see it.

I'd just about reached the point of sending her a private message to point this out, when she posted a status using "then" correctly.

Dang. We'll see if this is a sign of things to come, rather than (again, correct usage) a temporary slip of the keyboard.

What are your favorite, most insane-making word issues?

Grammatically speaking

I saw this over on Facebook, and it had to come here:

My own pet peeve, grammar-wise, is the confusion of "then" and "than", seen more frequently than ever before, even in business settings.

What's yours?

I don't think that word means what you think it means...natural version

From a description of a throw sold by a high-end natural fiber linens company:

Here, a heavenly soft two-color throw, crafted of bamboo viscose. The ultimate in naturally luxurious comfort, bamboo viscose is silky-soft like cashmere but made from all-natural materials.


Sheesh, I always knew those Cashmere goats were unnatural.

Overheard at work

In the hallway, facility service worker to AP clerk:

"...it's a trust thing, you know? And secondly, and foremost, it's..."

I don't know what it is; I had to leave at that point, as my ears were bleeding.