Let freedom confusion ring

Against my better judgement, I watched the President's speech last night. I may have missed a bit (I was yelling at the television), but some things confused me:

- The massacre at Fort Hood is now classified as terrorism according to the President, who has been insisting it is "workplace violence" only since it happened. Will this change the settlements with the victims, who were shortchanged on so much because this wasn't correctly classified as terrorism from the start?

- The POTUS referred to American exceptionalism. Since when is he a believer? His actions certainly don't support the concept.

- I now understand that it is Congress' fault that ISIS ISIL has not been eradicated, as they have not yet declared war on them. Thank you, POTUS, for clarifying that.

- Somehow, Mr. O thinks we can declare (and presumably win) a war against ISIS ISIL without putting any American "boots on the ground" in the Middle East. I understand this to mean he intends to rain warrior unicorns on our enemies, farting munitions and goring enemies with their horns (once Congress approves it, of course)(and it will be okay because it will be "hooves on the ground", not boots).

- We are going to pursue "political" means of resolving the situation in Syria. Does that mean we are going to try to talk the bad guys to death (that would also not be "boots on the ground, therefore okay)?

- We are going to increase scrutiny of people who try to enter the country without visas. It sounds like we need to set up a string of scrutiny-increasing magnifying glasses along our southern border. Oh - wait! The POTUS means for refugees, not undocumented aliens. Wait - what's the difference again?

- We have to increase gun laws, because we know all good terrorists obey all the gun laws.

- This address did soooooo much to allay my fears about more terrorist attacks in the U.S.! Especially the part where he explains these attacks are more of the "lone wolf" type, because he's already wiped out the bigger organizations (we all know ISIS is just the J.V. squad).

I feel better already!