You might be a redneck if...

...you put your grill smack dab in the middle of the front walk. In my defense, it is really the only safe place to put a Weber Smokey Joe; the plastic picnic table my landlady said I could use would melt and the grill is too short to safely use it on the grass.

The ten minutes of three foot (well, maybe two foot) high flames were my fault, however. The "new" bag of Matchlite was actually two years old, though never opened. I added a couple of pieces of firestarter because I assumed the charcoal would have dried out and wouldn't light on its own.

Er, never assume.

While the fire was consuming all the oxygen in a three block radius dying down to coals, I marinated a couple of boneless, skinless chicken breasts in Newman's Own Lime Vinaigrette. And sat reading the in the sun, adding to my farmer tan, or perhaps even getting a mild sunburn. It took a bit for the flames to die down.

Anyway. Char to desired degree of...char (but at least to the point where all the nasty salmonella dies off, which for me is the "safe" range on the cute little thermometers I bought at Williams-Sonoma a few years ago). Put one chicken breast in the refrigerator for tomorrow; dice the other one and put it on a bed of romaine lettuce. Add a generous handful of feta cheese, along with a couple of tablespoons of the Newman's Own. Pour a glass of cold Chardonnay to go with it.

Yum.

If I had gone grocery shopping today, there would have been black olives to add to the mix. Regardless, it was wonderful, and will be repeated tomorrow with the other piece of chicken (but without the need for three two foot high flames).