Sunday, September 23, 2007

Let there be light, maybe

If I haven't mentioned it before, the lighting in my dining room is...well, crap. The landlord finally said I could find a new light fixture, but he won't give me a price range in which to look. This is an issue...his taste and mine are about $150 apart. I have very specific requirements for this light (like it, gee, lights up the area with more than 10 watts of light), it can't use those useless candelabra bulbs and it should be appropriate for the period of the house without looking butt-ugly. I'd hate to find the perfect light, only to have him balk at the expense. Better to be disappointed up front with the selection, than forever yearn for what I can't have.

That sort of sounds like a dating philosophy, doesn't it?

Anyway, I will often turn on the overhead lights in both the dining and living rooms when I am working on something at the dining room table, in order to get enough light to read by. Imagine my surprise last night when the living room chandelier would not turn off. Turn the knob - zip, nada, zilch. Take off the knob and turn the little post by hand. Still nothing.

Not good.

Turn the thing off at the breaker - helpfully labeled "general lighting". I find it amusing, in a sick sort of way, that this particular circuit controls the living room overhead, but not the outlet only three feet from the switch for the overhead; the outlet on the perpendicular wall; the overhead in the foyer; the overhead in the bedroom; the overhead in the bathroom; the light above the kitchen sink; and the porch light?! I suppose all of them are more or less along the main bearing wall through the center of the house, but still. Do electricians really plan things this way, or is this one more eccentricity abnormality unique quality for this home?

So I've left a message for the landlord. I have a feeling this may be beyond his abilities. Based on prior experience, I may be peeing in the dark for a while this week, waiting for it to be fixed. The good news is that the tv/cable/dvd player is not affected; I can at least watch tv in the dark.

Update: Unbelievable. Simply unbelievable. LL called at one - just as I was sitting down to lunch. "Sure, if you don't need me, you can come down now." Note that he just left now(4:55 p.m.); surely, you can see where this is headed.

I'm happily eating my lunch in the back room, book in hand. I've already told LL that the power to the fixture is off. He pops his head in a couple of times to ask about dimmers - there's never been one on the living room fixture, and I neither need nor want one. He's babbling something about switches, and leaves for forty-five minutes or so. He comes back, then pops his head back in the the room to ask if I'm sure the power is off, as he just got a shock.

He was disassembling the DINING ROOM light switch.

Uh, that would not be where the problem is.

I called a friend who is a self-employed jack-of-all-trades, who seemed to think it may indeed be the switch on the LIVING ROOM light (you know, the one that HAS THE PROBLEM?!) But LL put in a new switch, and it fixed nothing. Now LL is babbling about calling someone else he knows - I also gave him JOAT's number - to see if they can tell him what is the matter.

Folks, I have an IQ in the 140's, an afinity for words and a well-deserved reputation for clear, concise communication. For whatever reason, LL and I just can't connect. I now have to pee in the dark, have no promise of when things will be fixed, and, since he had to turn off every single blasted circuit breaker to find the one to the diningroom fixture THAT DIDN'T NEED FIXING, I have to reset every single stinking clock in the place, as well as reprogram the vcr. Not to mention having wasted all of Sunday afternoon.

I made it very clear that I intend to be here when these people (if he calls them in) are in my apartment, and reiterated AGAIN that I need a minimum of 24 hours notice in order to do so. If this isn't fixed by Thursday, I'll call JOAT myself and have him come over Friday - and take his fee off my rent.

At some point, I'll take a basic electrics course at MATC, and simply bypass the "faulty circuit".

Oh - and no way am I going to mention to LL that the faucet he "fixed" six weeks ago is leaking, in a very untypical manner.

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