"Hello, Bamboo House."
"Hello. I just picked up my take out order, and I wanted to let you know there is a small problem with it."
"What you order?"
"Beef with mushrooms, an egg roll and fortune cookies. But the beef with mushrooms turned out to be chicken subgum."
"What? Beef with mushrooms?"
"Nooo - that's what it should have been. This is one of your chicken dishes."
" Um...what color is the gravy?"
"White?! Beef with mushrooms?"
"No, ma'am, it's some sort of chicken dish. I don't particularly mind, but the person who got my beef may call and not be as accomodating as me, and I wanted to let you know." Chicken is the one that clucks, and beef is the one that moos, right? I've never had either before, so I really can't tell the difference...
"You bring back, we make you beef with mushrooms."
"No, thank you, I'm already home, the traffic is horrendous, and I really am fine with eating the chicken. I just wanted you to know there had been an error."
"Here, you talk with girl who took your order."
Lather, rinse, repeat.
This is my favorite Chinese restaurant, and in fourteen years of take out I've never had a problem up until Sunday.
This time, the beef tasted a little like chicken.